We met Sunday (yesterday) to talk through somethings. He wanted to meet at a diner somewhat in between our houses. When I pulled up I was all sorts of nervous. My knees got weak, my hands were shaking and I was doing all that I could to fight back the tears when I saw him. I walked into the diner and he was all smiles and I wanted nothing more than to see that he was just as miserable as I was, but he wasn't. He stood up and gave me a big hug and I couldn't help it but the tears started to fill my eyes. I had no clue what he wanted a break for, what it was about or anything.
Turns out, the break really wasn't about us. It was about him (I kind of knew this but when it's about one person it's still about both) and his future. He kept staring at me awkwardly with this grin on his face that I couldn't help but laugh at - which made me more mad. We started talking about everything and he told me that if the week taught him anything it was how much he loved me, it was an indirect consequence of the break (that he hadn't expected).
Obviously the week was tough on me. I had a constant knot in my stomach that made me feel nauseous. The first two days I lost 5lbs and throughout the week that increased to 10 (he thought I was joking when I told him). Even though it wasn't a very long break it still showed both of how much we meant to each other and how much we really do love each other.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. He is my best friend. He has never judged me for being strange, talking to myself, doing something stupid or just saying what I'm thinking. He has never mad me feel bad about myself and has always encouraged me to be myself. I think I realized this past week, that I had never really been in love before him. I also realized what stress really feels like. I've never been a person to stress about anything. To me there is nothing worth stressing over. If I ever have a lot on my plate I always take it one step at a time. You do the best you can until it's over. If you didn't get to something it's ok, take a breath, calm down and breath. I really don't know how or why I became that way but I honestly don't stress about anything, mainly because I try to avoid stressors in my life-they cause too many problems and worry.
Oh! I also had my third Lia Sophia show this weekend. It was terrible but at the same time fun. Only 4 women, not including the hostess showed up. Out of the four 2 bought something, one said she was going to wait to order because she couldn't decide and the other was supposed to do a show but can't until the summer. Eh oh well. I'll hopefully figure something out.
Sadly, I didn't make plans to go out for St. Patty's day because I was going to be meeting with Josh. I figure I can't drive if I'm going to be drinking and if I start drinking I'll probably start crying because I'm like that. I did manage to take a shot at the bar though and it was delicious but that was all the excitement I had. Next year will just have to make up for loss time. An Irish girl shouldn't be missing her holiday!
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